Lately I have been thinking a lot about why I love edge play. I know that from a young age I was interested in sadomasochism and very intrigued by the cause and effect certain things had on a persons body and their mind. As I got older and was able to explore BDSM I learned that this interest is far from unique, though only some people want to bump their edges.
I think a lot about why people like playing like this. I feel that many of us want to push our boundaries to force ourselves to grow and edge play feeds this much better then other kinds of kinky sex. I love that what counts as edge play varies widely from person to person. For one person the edge might be getting called derogatory names, for another its many needles in their scrotum, for another it’s giving up financial control or water boarding or bugs on their feet… For the purposes of this blog, edge play are kinky/BDSM acts that are inherently dangerous and that if not done with care could cause real physically, psychologically or material damage to someone. To Me playing with these kinds of activities requires trust on such a high level that the interactions feel much more intimate and visceral then other types of kinky or sexual encounters. If done over a period of time, as trust builds more and more the play can get more and more profound.
I prefer to start things slow and over a period of time, whether that is hours, days, months or even years, escalating. I love fulfilling long term s/m fantasies because like working out you build endurance and strength over time - we can set goals and work to reach them together. Edge play is the backbone of My longest and most intimate D/s relationships - the extremity of what we do together establishes a type of mutual trust that I believe is unique to these types of dynamics.
This is not to say that I do not like edge play within shorter connections. There is something titillating about being less intimate with someone and playing intensely. It is still extremely carnal and powerful, but there is still distance between Domme and sub. Playing in this space is also special, and can be just as important and life changing. To Me it feels more like a burst of intensity vs. a slow burn. Each has value to deepening our understanding of ourselves in BDSM contexts and as we navigate the rest of the world. Think about how easy it will be to have patience in your day to day life if you can learn to have patience when your Domme is torturing you!